What movies teach us about grief, and why we ignore it in real life

From John Wick to Archangel to Good Grief, screenwriters have long understood something fundamental: personal trauma shapes behaviour. Characters driven by loss, grief, or trauma aren’t just compelling — they are realistic. Their actions, decisions, and relationships are deeply influenced by the emotional weight they carry.

Take Keanu Reeves in John Wick: a man seemingly ordinary until grief hits, and suddenly his world, his choices, and even the violence he commits are coloured by personal loss. Or consider Good Grief, a story that shows grief not as a punchline or plot device, but as a force that shapes every interaction and decision. As screenwriter John August has noted, “Conflict is character. And conflict often comes from loss.”

Why do these stories resonate so profoundly with audiences? Because they reflect something universal: grief and trauma are forces that touch everyone’s life. And because movies are built on research — on what audiences connect with — they can teach us volumes about the human experience. Statistics drive storytelling: what makes people laugh, cry, or sit on the edge of their seats isn’t random. It’s informed by patterns, by shared experience.

Yet, outside of film, society often avoids these lessons. We study grief in clinical settings, in academic papers, in structured wellness programs — but how often do we acknowledge it in the everyday choices people make at work, at home, or in their communities? Pop culture gives us a window into the collective psyche, showing the scale and significance of grief in ways statistics alone cannot. As actor Keanu Reeves once said about his roles dealing with loss, “There’s a lot of truth in pretending. You play the human, and that’s all the research you need.”

Research, in every form, matters. It extends past academia and clinical studies. It lives in media, in culture, and in the stories that millions of people pay to see on screen. It reminds us that grief isn’t isolated. It affects behaviour, decisions, and human connection — whether we see it in movies or in real life.

Perhaps it’s time to stop treating grief like a private event. Perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that, much like the characters we cheer for on screen, the people around us carry invisible stories that shape everything they do. And the more we study, the more we understand, the more we can support the world in ways that truly matter.